


Cookies at 3:34 am

by Me (Welp_I_tried_my_best)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-23 22:57:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20348221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Welp_I_tried_my_best/pseuds/Me
Summary: Deceit goes looking for cookies when Remus shows up.





	Cookies at 3:34 am

Deceit crept down the stairs, peering over the banister he could just about make out the living room. It was empty. He sighed in relief and the tension went out of his body. He didn’t want the Light Sides seeing him after the latest episode of fighting. 

He hadn’t been able to sleep so he decided on a midnight snack. He walked across the living room planning on helping himself to some of the delicious cookies he has smelt Patton cooking earlier. (He wasn’t welcome while the Light Sides were down here so he waited until night, 3:30 am, to be specific to go grab some)

However has he walked into the kitchen he was dismayed to find only a few crumbs left in the bottom of the jar. He sighed in frustration and turned to go back to his room, he then remembered the cookies in the fridge and was turning back hopefully when he heard a voice behind him 

“Heehoo, Dee-Dee whatcha doing?” 

Said the voice, far too loudly for 3:34 am. Heterochromatic eyes snapped round to meet brown eyes that seemed to be open slightly too wide. 

“Oh it’s you, Remus. I was afraid it was someone important” 

“You did not just quote The Lion King.”

“No.” he said, far to quickly. Damn. I’m the one who’s meant to be good at lying, my name is Deceit for heavens sakes. 

“Shame, my brother would have been proud, soooooo I asked a question Diggeree Dee-Dong, you gonna answer or stand there all night like a mouse caught in a trap?” 

Strange metaphor but okay, thought Deceit 

“Well, how wonderful of you to ask however I can hardly explain my nefarious plan to you-“

“See what I did there? I compared you to a mouse. Snakes eat mice. Eh, eh get it?”

Deceit stood silently for a second. No one had interrupted his evil monologue in, well, ever. 

“I was looking for cookies” 

“Yep well I ate them, oopsies. I also took the ones in the fridge ‘cause I needed to see wether octopi eat cookies or not. It’s a no if you were wondering Moriarty didn’t seem to like them much.” Remis sighed in disappointment. 

Deceit was so shocked he didn’t really know how to react. First of all he couldn’t believe that anyone so illogical and with such a short attention span would watch Sherlock Holmes, enough to name their pet after the villain no less (though, as a reliable viewer of Sesame Street he couldn’t really judge) and secondly why waste perfectly good cookies on an octopus when there were hungry half-snakes out there. 

Finally he managed to deadpan, “You owe me a new batch of cookies” 

Remus grinned manically, “Ok! But you have to help me make them ‘cause you denied quoting The Lion King, which you totally did, you nerd” 

Deceit considered this and decided that Remus would probably kill himself 5 minutes into making the cookies, and that would mean no cookies, so he might as well help. 

***

Turns out he was right. He had to stop Remus putting a fork into an electric socket, putting rat killer into the mix instead of sugar and then tell him, “no Remus, you mix the dough with your hands not your morning star” 

As Deceit slammed the oven door and put the cookies out to cool he took a deep breath. Split the cookies equally (there was an odd number so he gave that one to Remus for any future ‘experiments’) 

As he slipped back upstairs, to his room and fell asleep, exhausted after dealing with Remus for even a short amount of time, he never realised he had forgotten about his fight with the Light Sides.

**Author's Note:**

> The is my first fic folks so.....yep? Sorry if it’s trash.


End file.
